Structure

I really dislike structure.  But I really need structure and I really hate to admit that.  I said yesterday that I was feeling kind of weird since being back from my conference in Yakima.  And I think it was because for the last week and a half I have not had my normal structure.  It was just kind of a crazy week with the AmeriCorps launch, the auction, the conference, the meeting on Friday, Food Life Line Saturday, and CPR training yesterday.  Today was the first day back to my normal schedule.  Chill time in the morning to eat and read and just be, then office time to get organized and figure out what the plan for the week is, then crew at the garden with the youth.  And I feel so much better.  I think it was really good to see the youth again too since I hadn't seen them in over a week.  They really refresh, energize, and ground me.  It's pretty cool actually that they do that.  But yeah, it just feels good to get back into my routine.  I try to convince myself that I don't need structure or routines, but really I do.  I need to accept that fact.  It's ok to have a routine.  As long as I don't get stuck in that routine or have the routine be the only reason I am doing something or forget what the real meaning is because it is such a routine.  I guess I can just see how a routine can get bad quickly and I don't want that to happen.  But it's unreasonable to think that I could NEVER have a routine.  So, yeah, structure is good, some structure.  I am happy to be back in my structure and I feel a lot better tonight than I did yesterday.