It makes me sad to see these kids treat themselves like crap and not care.
There is one kid in particular who is heavy on my heart today. She is beautiful and funny and intelligent, very intelligent. But she just does not care about herself AT ALL. She does really awful stuff to her body and I'm pretty sure she has tons of emotional problems. She is one of the harder kids to work with because she is always causing problems and curses a lot and is disrespectful. She also likes to make up all kinds of stories. Mostly she does these things and acts out to try and be cool. She thinks she is crap but wants others to think that she is awesome. So she does these stupid things. I just see what she could be, what would have been if she was born into a different situation, if she didn't have so much going against her, and if she had people who encouraged and empowered her from an early age. I'm sure she has been told in MANY different ways her entire life that she is worthless. And I'm sure she has internalized these things and now treats herself like crap and doesn't care what happens to herself. Like I said, she is one of the harder kids to work with and she often just makes work really difficult. It is frustrating to have her around and you feel like you never know what to do and that you are always doing something wrong with her and that everything you try is just pointless. So she's hard and stressful and frustrating. But most of all, it makes me sad. Like, really. Deep deep down in who I am is sad that her life is like this, that our society lets this happen, and that she doesn't realize just how amazing she is. I am sad for her and I am sad for this world. I can't fully express in words how heartbreaking it is to watch.
I am looking forward to a day when my job is no longer needed. I love my job, a lot, but nothing would make me happier than living in a day when programs like Seattle Youth Garden Works are not necessary. When there are no longer people living on the streets and experiencing poverty and everything that goes along with that.
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4 comments:
I hope you realize just how amazing you are!!!!
that's heartbreaking. :(
what do you or sygw do to help kids like that? i'm sure when i become a teacher i will come across students like this and it will break my heart. all i'd want to do is help.
are you allowed to personally talk to her or do you need to find outside help?
there is nothing more important in this path we've taken to work ourselves out of a job...
you're doing great stuff out there jill. i'm really proud.
-carolina
JR Last Day - does that mean she is out of the program? Why can;t the supervisor talk to her like she talked to the last kid that was giving a lot of trouble and then was much better?
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