Today was a pretty heavy day at work for me. On Tuesdays we have drop in hours for youth to come in the office and hang out and talk. One youth who is fairly new brought their 10 month old baby today. While they were meeting with a case manager, the baby was just crawling around the office checking things out. They were having fun. So I played with the baby for a while. We played with these plastic eggs then I was just bouncing them around on my lap. It was awesome. I miss babies. and little children. I got drooled all over, but it was worth it. But as much fun as I had, it was also hard. Really heavy stuff. This baby's life.
Then tonight at program there were a bunch of new faces. I guess this time of year sees a bunch of new people. I was talking with one of the new youth who seemed pretty shy. I can't go into any details about their situation because it is all confidential. But it really hit me. I am really feeling the weight of it. I want to do something.
I am feeling very weighed down after today. Just kind of exhausted. This work is heavy. It's great and so much fun because these youth are amazing. But it's hard. It's hard to not take on their stories. Hard to leave work at work and not think about these youth at home. And hard for so many other reasons.
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3 comments:
You're doing great work Jill. I can't imagine what it is like...but know that you need to take care of yourself too, so that you can continue to serve the youth.
Thinking of you.
my friend has this metaphor for how people rely on each other, he says people carry bricks for other people. so for instance, jill, you carry some of my bricks in a pretty big way. but i think it's interesting that you are using "weight" here. and he uses "bricks." maybe you can transfer some of your bricks around (amongst friends, family), if the weight is getting to be too much.
You can give me some of your weight and I will help you carry it.
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