The vine, not the fruit.

I think I decided that on Sundays (not exclusively, but at least) I am going to write about Jesus.  Some of you know a lot about this part of my life, some of you just know that I am a Christian and haven't gone much further. Either way, know that I very much enjoy a good debate, especially if you disagree with me so don't be shy about asking questions or other comments.


So, since I have moved to Seattle, I need to find a new church.  It would have been awesome if Epic (my church in Pennsylvania) could have come here with me because they are so wonderful, but I guess that's not the way it works.  And I know that God has a LOT to teach me as I look for a new church and as I start to get connected in that church.  I became a Christian in college and started going to Epic because Denise (my really cool friend who I love and miss a lot) was going and I was such a new Christian that I just followed her around.  So I have never really done this whole looking for a new church thing.  It is really cool and really terrible all at the same time.  I have been to 3 churches so far since I have been here (1 last Sunday and 2 today) and they are all very different.  It's cool to see all of these churches and what God is doing at all of them and hear all of the different things the different pastors are talking about and meet all kinds of different people that I happen to sit next to.  But it's also terrible to go to a church and not know anybody but also not know if you are going to continue going there so you don't know if you should really talk to people a whole bunch and get to know them and figure out ways to get connected and start looking for a small group.  And it's really good to hear all of the different sermons, but at some point it just gets overwhelming trying to think about all of the different things.  And I have just been getting really distracted during the sermon because I am trying to get a feel for the church and totally being a sociologist and just taking it all in, and then it takes away from just sitting and listening and being present.  Soooo, like I said, it's really cool and good, but also pretty awful at the same time.  And part of me, like I was saying yesterday, just wants to be decided and start going to a small group and start forming friendships.  But also part of me enjoys exploring these different churches and seeing different areas of Seattle and meeting people passionate about God and what He is doing in so many different ways.  It is awesome to see all of these different aspects of God's body working all together.


I guess I will keep you updated on the whole choosing a church thing, but right now I think I have decided that I will go to a bigger church.  I am used to a small church that is pretty intimate and where I know pretty much everyone and I can show up at the pastors' house whenever I want and they will invite me in for a meal or give me their leftovers or let me stay at their house all summer. (You guys are awesome!)  And this is comfortable for me.  But a a bigger church this will not be the case.  I will need to try a little harder to connect with people, it won't just happen on it's own.  Most people won't know if I miss church one Sunday and it would be super easy to just blend in with the crowd.  I will need to be a bit more intentional about all of this and just in general this will be more challenging for me.  But I think it's an area that God is working on in me right now.  Not just at church, but in general in my life.  (Seattle is a pretty big city and I don't know ANYBODY.)  So this takes at 1 of the churches I've visited so far off the list.  I have a few more to visit in the next few weeks.  But other than that 1 thing, I am just going to let the Holy Spirit guide me in making a decision.  Ultimately, I think any church I decide will be good, it's just a question of which will be best for me right now, and I know that God can and will use any of them for good in me.


Ok, so one of the churches I went to today was talking about all kinds of things (I actually missed the main point of the sermon because, like I said, I was very distracted).  But there was one thing he mentioned real quick that stuck out to me.  He was talking about how trying to look at the fruitfulness of something isn't always the best.  He gave the example of Elijah in the Old Testament (somewhere around 1 Kings) how he was trying to bring a revival to these people who worshiped some other god and he said some great stuff and God showed up with fire and it was this great display and everything went perfectly according to plan.  And none of the people decided to follow God.  So the end result was pretty terrible.  And Elijah prolly thought that he was a real screw up, but he did everything right.  Just because the people didn't respond the way he wanted them to, doesn't mean he is terrible at what he was trying to do.  So he was talking about how we shouldn't focus inward on ourselves.  (This wasn't the part that stuck with me, although it is interesting.)  Anyways, then the pastor related this to Jesus.  Basically talking about how we shouldn't focus so much on what Jesus does, and we should be more concerned with who Jesus is.  Yeah he does great stuff and he provides everything I need.  But it is more important to focus on the person of Jesus, not the fruit of Jesus.  Now, I've thought about this concept a bit of focusing on the vine instead of the branches, or focusing of Jesus' face instead of his hands.  But right now this kind of hit me.  I am focusing a lot on what I want Jesus to do for me right now.  I want Him to direct me to the right church and the right group of people and I want Him to make this an easy transition and to make work be as exciting as I'm thinking it will be and I want Him to make things good with all of my SEVEN roommates.  And I totally trust Him to do all of these things and I am not super stressed about any of them because I know He is going to come through.  I don't even want them to all work out perfectly, I just want them to be used for good.  I have a plan that I would like to happen, but I am holding onto it lightly knowing that my plans can change because His plans are better.  Which, yeah, is all good stuff.  But in the midst of all of things, all of this fruit, I have forgotten about the PERSON of Jesus.  About WHO he is, not just WHAT he can do.  So like I said, this small sentence that the pastor mentioned stuck out to me right now.  I want to focus more on who Jesus is and all of the other things will work themselves out.  They are much less important than having a relationship with my Savior.  I want to spend more time remembering who Jesus is and just talking to Him and listening to Him and reading His words.  I want to continuously fall in love with my Creator and Savior.  Not because of what he has done for me and will do for me in the next few weeks and months, but because of who He is.